He Wants to Be a Dragon
by Sqydd
Summary: For as long as I've known him, Natsu has wanted to be a dragon.


For as long as I've known him, Natsu has wanted to be a dragon.

In preschool, while the others were eating snacks and laughing together about new cartoons, he was in the corner working furiously at the craft's table. Whenever I asked what he was doing, he'd reply with a mad grin: "I'm making dragon scales for skin!" He was using his jacket and huge globs of red glitter to make a glittery scarlet coat.

"What an idiot," Gray Fullbuster said. Natsu then gave his coat to me (I didn't know why at the time) and jumped to fight him. In the two minutes that they pulled each other's hair and mouths and Gray lost everything except his boxers before Miss Mirajane broke them up, I kept a good eye on his coat. Even if it was made with cheap glitter and super glue, I felt that it was very important to him. And afterwards when he returned from the nurse while we were waiting for our parents, he took his coat and gave me a wide beam. Back then, I saw crushes as T.V. personalities, but Natsu became my first "real boy" crush.

In elementary school, while the others were sneaking their mother's makeup to school and crying over fractions, Natsu was sharpening pencils to a deadly point and duct-taping them to the back of his hands. Whenever I asked what he was doing, he'd reply with a familiar grin: "I'm making dragon claws for fighting!" He'd then illustrate with a few swipes of his "claws."

"He gets dumber every day," Gray Fullbuster commented from his circumference worksheet. Natsu then gave his duct-tape claws to me because, as I'd come to realize, for simply speaking to him he considered me a highly-trustworthy friend, and jumped to fight him. In the two minutes that they wrestled on the ground and Gray lost everything down to his boxers before Miss/ter Bob broke them up, I kept a good eye on his claws. I had begun to get an odd feeling regarding his little "dragon items." And afterwards when he returned from the clinic while I was sitting in the pickup/drop-off area waiting for Miss Virgo to come, he took the claws and gave me a huge, sharp-tooth grin. (Were those fake too? I never found out.) My eleven-year-old self blushed and said it was no big deal and he laughed before walking away.

In middle school, while the others were fretting about summer school and worsening school lunch, I was in the corner thinking about Mama's passing. I would have much preferred to stay home, but I had a straight-A streak to maintain. I wanted to earn a scholarship of my own power and go to a college far away to escape the manor, which has become cold and lonely with Father shutting himself away from everything and everyone, including his last remaining family. Looking back, however, I wish that I had made more of an effort to speak with him, now that he's gone too. But at the time I was in the corner of the classroom, doing my work and trying hard not to cry, when the seat next to me creaked.

"Here," Natsu said, dropping something in my hands before I could react. I quickly wiped my eyes on my sleeves and tried to make sense of it.

"What is...this?"

"Dragon's heart." I shivered, and my first instinct was to toss it back at him, crush be damned, but then I realized it was made of clay. Clay or not, however, it was well-detailed, the size of the pad of my thumb and edged with gold, a huge step up from a glitter-covered jacket and pencil claws. I met his eyes and he gave me an unusually soft and sympathetic smile. "I've lost too, y'know, and afterwards I made this. 'cause you know, dragons never cry; they harden themselves and raise their heads 'cause their hearts are so tough. It gives me strength, but you need it more, eh?"

"Natsu, I can't take this..."

"Natsu, get your damn work done already. You know you don't need another 'F' on that report card," Gray Fullbuster called. Natsu then touched my cheek for nothing more than a second, and jumped to fight him. In the two minutes that they threw each other against the walls and Gray tore Natsu's forehead before Principal Makarov broke them up, I kept a firm grip around his little clay heart, holding it against my own. I could almost feel his heat through it, the same heat that lingered in my cheek. I flushed at the thought, feeling my crush grow, blossom into something bigger. And afterwards when he returned from the principal's office, suspension paper clasped firmly in hand, he shuffled passed me, head hung, and missed my goodbye wave and "See you tomorrow" as he walked to the buses. Somehow I knew that his problem wasn't with the suspension; it went much deeper.

Today, the seventh day of the seventh month, the graduation ceremony drags as our little crowd that's been together since pre-k, the self-proclaimed "Fairy Tail" group, walks across the stage and collects that high school diploma. My heart thumps sadly as Natsu's name is called only for all eyes to fall on his empty seat. "Did the bastard really miss his own graduation?" Gray murmurs as he sweeps past my seat, diploma in hand.

"Probably overslept," Cana comments.

"Oh, Natsu, I hope he didn't get hurt," Lisanna laments. "Lucy?"

I realize that I've been biting my lip hard enough to draw blood. I take a handkerchief from Erza, ignoring her worried expression and giving a tense smile. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

And afterwards, when all is said and done, when Loki has given me my obligatory congratulation flirt, Cana has passed around the non-alcoholic cider, celebratory dinner was had, I wave goodbye and start the long walk home. I'm in no mood to call even Virgo, instead holding my heels in my hand and praying that it doesn't rain on Mama's red dress. The cap and gown almost feel like weights in my arms; I wonder why? At one point in the street is a turn towards a dirt road that leads to a flowery cliff. I used to visit there all the time with Mama, and since she passed I've religiously avoided it, but something curiously pulls me towards the turn. I cross the little wooden bridge, squeeze between an apartment complex and corner store, and soon I feel the warm afternoon sun on my bare shoulders as I step onto the grass. It tickles my feet just as the smell of fresh lilacs and herbs tickle my nose, and against the baby blue background of the sky I see the one I'm least expecting.

"Natsu! NATSU WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

He's standing with his back to me, with wire frames extending from his back and linked with strips of white fabric. They very much resemble a set of dragon wings, and although they look beautiful, I know that they won't hold his weight, and below the cliff is a field of jagged rock edging Magnolia Forest. He doesn't hear me, or at least ignores me, and holds his arms out at his sides. He's wearing blue jeans and the wires sit over a green t-shirt, and blowing in the wind is the white scarf I've started to think of as his insignia. He puts one bare foot forward and I lunge at him, arms out.

"NATSU!"

"LUCY!"

He jerks back upon seeing me, crashing into my front and causing both of us to hit the grass. His makeshift wings temporarily smother me before he rolls away and hovers over me, dark eyes wide as they flit across my face. "Why are you here? What in hell are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from doing something crazy!" I shout. "You're not a dragon, Natsu! You can't fly, and you'll kill yourself if you jump from here!"

"Don't you think I know that?" he shouts back, his eyes blurring just a moment before tears streak down his cheeks. I stare, perplexed, as I feel the warm droplets splat against my forehead. I've never seen him cry, not in over ten years.

"Then you don't care about everyone you're leaving behind!"

"I care about the person that's left ME behind!" He lurches to his feet, fists clenched and neck tensed. "He always told me stories of dragons, said they were brave, kind, HEROES, and then he left! He left THIS DAY, Lucy, ten years ago, and I know that he's gone with them."

"'Them'?"

"The dragons, Luce." He calms down in a way, but his movements are still frantic. He stands a few feet away from the edge, the wind ruffling his pink locks and smearing his tears across his face. "He's gone to be with the dragons and I'm gonna join him today."

"Natsu, what are you..." I roll over and finally see what I've missed: his shoes lay a few feet away, slightly hidden by a cluster of sunflowers, and next to them is his glitter-covered coat, tiny compared to the muscled him of today; his duct-tape pencil claws; a snout made of paper towel rolls; a tail made of coiled garden hoses spray-painted red. He keeps talking about "he," "he,"... "Who are you talking about, Natsu?"

"My dad," he says, almost a groan among the wind. "Igneel Dragneel, the king of the dragons." I draw myself up to my elbows. Suddenly it doesn't matter that I'm getting grass stains on Mama's dress, or that Loki and the others will be worried about me back home.

"Natsu, your father wasn't a dragon. He just walked out."

"No, he was a dragon, Luce." He spins back towards me, lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes pleading for me to agree. As much as it hurts to burst his bubble, I know I have to, before he does something completely insane.

"He was a human, and humans do stupid things sometimes. Natsu," I press when he looks away, a growl in the back of his throat. For a moment, he looks like he may hit me, and when his arm tenses I flinch away. He catches it from the corner of his eye and it seems to...break him down. He hits his knees and his arms fall limp at his sides. The dragon wings still waver in the wind as does his hair, but he's unnaturally stiff, like a tree. "I don't know Igneel like you do, but I'm sure he's left you for a reason. Whether that's good or bad, you can't go waste your life like this over him!"

"Then what else can I do, Lucy? Sit here and cry about it?" he demands. "When he left it tore my heart apart beyond repair. I always think about it and the pain won't go away no matter what. What else is there for me to do? I HAVE to find him!"

"No, you don't, not if you'll kill yourself in the process." I hold his gaze, refusing to back down from his glare, and slowly he shrinks down, his head falling. I'm reminded of that day in middle school when he skulked off, walking home. He had been walking home since elementary school. Isn't there anybody there to take care of him? I suddenly feel grateful for my big, empty house, which isn't all that empty at all. There's still Loki and Virgo, Taurus and Capricorn, Aquarius, and all the other servants, who are more like my family than Father. From the way he's acting right now, I can tell he hasn't had anybody to truly care about him in a very long time. I grab my purse and take out my house keys. I have eleven charms on it and have had them since childhood. Ten for each of the servants, and one for my dragon. I take Natsu's hand and set his dragon's heart in his calloused palm.

"You still have it?" he asks.

"Of course. It's your heart, isn't it? If this heart is damaged beyond repair," I say, pointing at his chest; he follows my finger, nonplussed, "then you can have this one."

"No; it's yours," he says automatically. I won't give up.

"Then we'll share it. Okay? Just don't give up, Natsu, not now and not ever. Even if your father... Even if Igneel isn't there, you still have someone here who cares. And even if he never comes back, even if you never find him, I'll always be here." He blinks twice, just shocked, then a fresh wave of tears pour down his cheeks. "Dragon's don't cry, remember? They hold their heads high."

"Ughn," he sniffles, swiping his arm across his eyes. "Hold my head high..." He glances again at his little dragon bits and pieces from the years. "Igneel wasn't a dragon," he says with the finality of a petulant child. "He was a Forest Vulcan."

"A what?"

"A Forest Vulcan," he repeats blandly, as if I'm slow. "They take other people's faces. Igneel pretended to be a dragon, but he was really a Vulcan."

"I don't know about that."

"I do." He uses his free hand and, grabbing the netting of wires, gives them a furious tug. The clasps around his wings fall apart and the next gust of wind catches them, tossing them far from the cliff and down below. They are shortly followed by the jacket, the pencils, the snout, the tail, and to my shock, the heart.

"Natsu!"

"Don't need it," he says, straightening his back and offering me a hand. I take it and not a second after I'm pulled to my feet does he yank me against his chest, gripping me tightly around the waist. "It's just a stupid souvenir from a gas station."

"Your heart..."

"'s okay. It's okay." His sigh ruffles my hair and I feel him smile weakly against my forehead, but he's smiling. Smiling through his tears. For as long as I've known him, Natsu had wanted to be a dragon. In high school, while everyone was graduating and talking about the future, he was standing on a beautiful cliff over a beautiful outlook ready to fly like a dragon. Instead, he was touched by my human heart.

* * *

 **Author's Drabble -** Oi, you guys, me and Angst have finally had that long-awaited reunion! The intention with this one-shot was to make it really ambiguous so I didn't put as much background as I usually would, but I think I got the point of it across. I'm not that satisfied with the last line though :/ It ends somewhere between NaLu and friendship, so you're not wrong whether you believe they got together and had cute little blonde Dragon Slayers or just stayed platonic for the rest of forever.


End file.
